September 1st 1943
Dearest Shirley,
I know what you mean about how hard it is to write letters. This is No. 7. I'm sending this one no matter what comes out. Lets do a little spot removing first. I guess I give you the wrong impression. Those two plans I was talking about were for after the war. I wouldn't turn quitter on my country. If I wash out of the cadets it will be for physical reasons and no other. I'll also see what I can do about becoming a man. That's a promise!
I'm pretty well up on how miserable a person can feel. I'm an old hand at it. How do you think I've been feeling.
There are a lot of things I want to say. I don't know how it'll turn out but here goes.
There isn't anything you can't do. You're made of pretty goood stuff. If you don't do something its because you don't want to. Waiting for a guy would be pretty tough, but its plenty tough on the guy too. I could have had a girl Sunday. I didn't! I'd be satisfied to sit in my room and read if I knew you were waiting. I still believe with all my heart that we belong together. You can't talk me out of that. You're feeling pretty bitter and miserable about something Is it because you won't wait for me? That doesn't make sense. You made a crack about how much I can take. I've been taking plenty. I'll take anything you or anyone else can dish out.
Sometimes I get pretty mad at myself for being in love with you. Now damn it, let's get on the beam. I may not be much of a beauty, but by God, you'll never find another guy that loves you like I do. I can give you the life you want and I can make you happy. You said that you had some sort of love for me. Damned right you have. Stick with me and you'll have a lot more. I don't give a hoot for reasons why you won't wait for me. They don't help me any. Either you will or you won't. That's all I want to know. You talk about just being content with living. That's a lot of rot and not like you. Where's the fight in YOU? You talk about my being able to take it, Bah! The bum writing is due to writing so fast. I'm going to get this off my chest!
How miserable will you be if you do wait for me? Any more than you are now? What the hell am i, a monster or something? You sound like yopu're afraid to fall in love. This is my life as well as yours that I'm thinking of. I know what bum marriages can do. Do you think I'd take a chance if i didn't feel it was right. I also am familiar with every kind of love. I have all of them for you. Damn it I'm getting mader as I write. Why do you keep holding back. In all the time I've known you you've only been yourself a cuople of times. You're a swell person when you're that way Some of the tension was my fault , but that was due to the war, jealousy and a lot of little things. I'm over them!
I'll go all the way for you but if you turn me down my life is no concern of yours or anyone elses. I'll do what I dmaned well please. I'm not going through anymore hell.
Now are you going to wait for me or are you going to make us both miserable?
I'll ask you the same favor you asked me. Answer my letter, but if you say that I don't understand you I'll go AWOL and pin your ears back.
I love you - damn it.
Ray