Nov 6, 1944
Saturday Evening
Dear Shirl,
I have the whole place to myself. There is a high wind blowing and it whistles and it screams around the corners. It always makes me think of Wuthering Heights. Not any one scene in particular but the whole plot. I feel very alone, but not lonesome. I've felt alone before and I'm getting used to it. Maybe it's sort of a prelude to the future. I have so many dreams and visions of life that they can't all happen, yet each one of them is vivid. I don't think I was given a mind and body equivalent to my soul. At times like this I get so tired of the way I live, but there isn't anything I want to do or any person I want to see. I'm not content with what I've got - I don't know what I want. All of this is brought about by the wind. Ever since I was old enough to go out by myself I have been fascinated by the wind. When it blows high, and you c an hear it and the trees sway back and forth - I'm lost. It's blowing for me but I don't know the reason. I've got to keep searching till I find out some answers.
The field here is more or less of a mad house lately. The United States Army Air Force has run out of bombs. That sort of puts a damper on learning how to drop them. To add to the roughness of the course, all of our instructors have been shipped out. We read about bombing and then go up and see how it's done by our lonesome. I believe in self education, but there is a limit. We'll probably graduate later because of the shortage. I also found out that we'll all graduate as Flight Officers. Same pay, same uniform, same rank as a 2nd LT. but congress signs the sheepskin instead of Franklyn. It doesn't make much difference to me. All I want to do is get out of school.
Bill has his civillian pilot's license now and is working on cross country. I'll bet that if I'd gone into the para troopers he'd practice jumping off the roof.
Johnnie is still in France and I guess he's playing pretty rough.
You live about two miles from my mother. She sends a letter 2500 miles to me to ask how you are. Our way of living is the best but sometimes I think that it's a bit insane.
Ya know, sometimes when I'm waiting for a letter from you and it doesn't come I start wondering. Some of the things I wonder about don't make me feel so hot and I get nervous.
Love
Ray