July 2

July 2

Dear Shirl,

Congratulations Sweetie Pie.  How does it feel to be twenty three?  You old bag! 

      Friday night we were told that our furloughs would start at midnight tonight.   Saturday morning I received my shipping orders to Panama city, Florida on the 4th.  for gunnery school.  Some of our higher ups here is the offspring of unwed parents.  The thought of July and August in Florida is really invigorating.  Hot stuff, that's me.  Well, as they say in Russia, etc, etc, etc. 

     I planned on celebrating last night by getting seven quarts of gin, eleven elicit women and three big block cigars, and have a super binge.  I got side tracked somewhere.  I ended up with apple pie, beer, and Buffalo Bill.  Old Bill was quite a ham.  Did you get the God damned locket?  There were two things in this town that I could have gotten you.  One was the locket and the other was the unmentionables.  The sales lady embarrassed me to death.  How the hell do I know what size gadgets you wear.  It was a rugged business.  I almost got in a fight with the engraver.  He told me tho no one EVER engraved a locket.  I spit on the floor and told him I was from Chicago and I could lick him and seven of his relations all at once.  He said he'd engrave it.  Then he wanted to know whether "you" or "me" should come first.  I told him to put you first and me second.   Then he said that when you got it, you would be me and me would be you and if you being first that would be me and me being you, you would be me and me should be first because me is you.  This made me mad.   I questioned the authenticity of his birth and made a few comments about his family tree.  Finally he flipped a coin and you and me won.  I should have gotten the unmentionables.  I wish we could fight the Civil War over again and really do a good job of it.

      There ain't nothing else cooking so I am going to induldge in  a nauseating Southern meal.  I would have liked to have gotten the furlough, but - maybe next year.

   So Long 

     Ray