Feb. 18th 1944

Dear Shirl,

     Abscessed teeth - eye excersises - calcium in the joints - well Snooks, it's no use trying to kid yourself.  You're no chicken anymore.  (heh heh). Say, I'm glad you didn't lose your teeth.  Great pistol balls and buckshot, would you look nifty minus your molars.  The thought frightens me - how about you?  

     Hey - that song "poinciana" is O.K., huh?

     I couldn't make the grade for pilot.  That old knee of mine is still getting stiff.  (I enjoy it).  Half of flying is done with the legs.  I was given a choice of Bombardier or Navigator as a consolation prize.  At first I was a bit sour on either one.  I accepted Bombardier.  Sunday.  I began to think that blowing Hell out of enemy stuff might be more entertaining.  Now I'm quite enthused about it.  At any rate, after one year, nine months and twelve days I am now a full fledged cadette.  You claim that lipstick, perfume and all the war paint builds a gals morale.  The word cadet does the same thing for me.  I'm beginning to feel like a high class human being again.  I've gained a lot of self confidence.  I'll probably fall out of the bomb bay on my first trip.  

      I arched an eyebrow when I read about Bus getting married.  But then, why not?  Good for him!  Tell him that I hope he is going to be very happy.  

     There was too much about Oswego to write about it.  Someday I'll tell you.

      Your Spanish proverb was a bit untimely.  It has been raining here for four days.  Right now it is coming down so hard the roads are flooding.  

     Want to know what I really think is wrong with both of us?  I'll tell about myself and I feel that the same thing applies to you.  I think I need someone I can love and who loves me.  I don't get much kick out of doing anything alone.  An person has to have a mate.  It always has been and always will.  That's the real important happiness.  Then when you do things you get the real fun out of them.  I realized that a couple of years ago.  Whatever I did or wherever I was, I was wishing you were there too.  I had some fun but it could have been much more.  I wasn't getting the real value out of anything.  I'm still not.  I want someon e to love and someone to love me.  You're still number one on my list, but if it won't work I'll find someone else.  It's just got to be.  Someone has got to understand me as I understand them.  I've got to be pushed, encouraged, and inspired.  I have as much ability as anyone else but I can't do anything for myself.  With someone in back of me there's nothing I can't do.  i'm just plain lonely.  Lonely in a camp of 50,000 persons.  I'd be lonely wherever I went till I found that someone.  I've been that way, and still am.  I don't even want to go to town after being locked up for fourteen days.  No matter I do I know there is something very big missing.  That's the whole thing.  We're missing something big.  You have your girlfriends, skating, swimming, tennis, and thousands of diversions.  Do you really think that that is living?  You need someone just as much as I do.  You're young and pretty - there should be someone.  It's the natural thing.  That's whats wrong but what the hell either of us can do about it - I don't know.  Just keep on being miserable and discontented.  Keep on waiting and hoping and even praying.  Maybe someday you'll find a guy and I''l find a gal - that's whats wrong!

  Love 

   Ray