April 9, 1945
April 9, 1945
Ahoy Sweetheart,
Yesterday I was muchly stinko. I was mad at everyone including you and even my self. I hadn't heard a single word from any of my family in over two weeks. That doesn't give me a very pleasant feeling. I can put up a fight against anything in this world except silence. I'm completely beaten when you don't write. I start thinking along the long track and then I blow off steam. That's what I did in that letter. I sent a telegram today asking you to send it back unopened. I hope you did. If you read it you will probably have a few comments to make. Don't ever make me write another one. No matter what the circumstances there is no excuse for over two weeks no letter from you. I just can't see it. How about it, a little more often? Oh hell, let's skip the whole thing!
God, I can imagine what a jolly mess it must be at Edith's. The kids alone could create an earthquake, but toss Ed and Dan together on top of it and you have a situation. All this and heaven too?
What's this stuff about your whole life being changed. An idea occurs to me as to what its all about if it's what I think, it concerns me too. How about slipping me a whisper on the lowdown. Maybe we can compare notes and work things out. I'm quite a plotter. If it doesn't concern me let me know anyway -- I am nosey.
How was it when you were over to the Penthouse for dinner? Did they plan our whole life out? Were you given plenty of advice? I hope it was different from this.
Hey, if I do get a leave how about staying at my house for the time I am home. I'll give you my room. I couldn't stand ten spectators. I'd be afraid to look at you gleamishly.
I'll bet you could positively petrify your pop with an old fashioned letter. I'd like to write one. Let me know if it's O.K. with you.
Wouldn't it be swell if we could get Mabel and your Pop together and go out on a toot? Of course Adeline and Mr. Mabel might frown on it - but it sounds good anyway.
Something told me to hold the letter up for a day so I did.
This morning I got up pretty early and just moped around. I didn't feel very happy. I missed you pretty much. I got slicked up and strolled out to the highway. I flipped a coin to find out where I was going. It came out North so I ended up in W. Palm. Something told me that it was my last trip there so I did some reliving. I walked out to the Carmichaels and went down on the island. I guess no one was home. Then back to the south bridge and across to Palm Beach. I walked along the lake to the road that runs into Worth Ave. The blue and pink houses still looked swell. I checked the royal Palms again to make sure they weren't cement. I went around the corner and admired the laquer and garage doors at the house next to the Everglades Club. Do you remember that liquor store on the corner of Via Panscar? It has a bar in the back and opens early Sundays for the unwell. I had two bourbons and ginger there and then killed time looking in the windows until the Alibi opened. Two more there and then to Taboo. I relived what we said and did when we were there. After Tabolo I walked way up to "Shang Re La" and had a whiskey sour, then to Montmarte for a Daiquire. Just for fun I went in. ohara's bar and had a drink there. It wasn't so hot. Then I went across the street to the show and saw "Music For Millions". It was swell. Hey, Larry Adler was in it. After the show I went in casa Blanca and had a hamburger with french fries and two bottles of beer. I was getting nervous by then because I knew it was almost the end. I walked pretty slowly down to the ferry boat and got on. This is the pay off Honey, I'd have given anything if you could have been there. On the boat there was a guitar player. He was middle aged and his clothes were pretty worn but clean. He played all across the lake. His hair was blowing in the breeze and he looked so contented. Just before the boat pulled up to the west palm dock he started to play Aloha. That's how I left palm Beach, Darling. It was evening and a swell breeze was coming over the lake and as I walked away I heard Aloha Oe' getting softer. I'll never go back again without you. I couldn't. I enjoyed myself but not because I was having fun. I guess it was because I was pretty close to you then. Whatever happens let's stick together. Maybe we'll always have disagreements and misunderstandings but let's always come out together.
I stopped at the telegraph office before I came back to Boca. It's a good thing I didn't know how to get in touch. I tried to call your house but I couldn't get a line.
I got back here at nine and really felt like writing.
Here's a dollar for Eddie. That should last him a good thirty seven minutes. I'm having trouble finding a sailor hat for him but i'll keep trying.
Give my love to your Mom and tell her to keep her chin in the wild blue yonder. I hope everything get's straightened out about Ed one way or the other.
Good Night Sweetheart. In spite of my blow ups I spend about 999 out of 1000 of my life being pretty much in love with you.
Listen closely to the words to "My Heart Sings". I wish I could have said them to you that way.
All My Love
Ray